My mom insisted on documenting my final chemo morning. It was the first morning I wasn't running around gathering things and dragging my heels about leaving. This time, I couldn't wait to get out the door!
Berta picked me up with my favorite dessert, Tiramisu, waiting in the car.
Kai called me back for one more hug. Happy Birthday, Sweetie.
You can just see a smidgen of my cashmere sock sticking out from my pant cuff. This little diddy came from my dear friend Elaine, who has been sending surprises now and then, along with wonderful emails full of her packed, happy days on the coast. She is one of my favorite encouragements from afar. Always making me laugh. Always stoking my creative fire. Believing in me. So, she was with me today keeping my feet soft and warm:)
I figured my body was already shocked and bombarded by the chemicals, so why not sneak in a few more things it had to process? A little cream, sugar, chocolate and rum is nothing compared to Dicarbozine, Zofran, Andremiacin, Vinblastine, Adivan, and Solumedrol.
Berta and I talked during the entire treatment. She helped me process what I'm learning and how I've changed through this cancer/chemo thing. I threw out the nuggets and she polished them clean with me. I deeply value Berta's strength, bluntness, depth, creative perspective, thoughtfulness and true friendship.
After being unplugged, the chemo nurses presented me with a purple heart diploma. I told them I never want to see them again.
Here's my finish line. I'm smiling, yeah, my head is up, good. But I wanted some Grace..... And so she came....
Berta knew of this Buddhist restaurant on Broadway where she took me to lunch. We were sitting in the car, getting ready to get out and she looked at me and said, "I think you look better without your hat." Wow, I deliberated briefly on that idea, took my hat off, and came out with a strong, "Okay, here we go."
Unfortunately, there are no pictures to prove the moment, so you'll just have to imagine it for yourselves. People looked briefly at me and then back to their meals, some even looked me in the eye and smiled. I smiled back. We chose from vegetarian dishes on the menu that had words like karma, mandala, peace, enlightened, and mantra attached to them. They all sounded yummy to my steroided system. Berta picked a couple of things and we sipped tea and talked. It was a lovely lunch. And I got to walk across that finish line in public with Grace. Cancer-free, Smiling and Bald.
4 comments:
Danette, YOU ROCK!!!! We like the new cancer-free YOU!! Yay!!
Danette,
I'm still dancing!! And I will for days and weeks to come. You are grace itself. While you mend and grow away from this huge chunk of time and huge challenge, we will continue to be amazed at your strength and beauty. We grew and were challenged with you. Just like the garden reclaims its land when allowed...roses running with glee, daffodils and tulips spreading a carpet of color, lilac scenting the air...life will fully reclaim you. We'll put aside the terrible days and use the strength they engendered to build more beauty and joy.
This is not a bunch of gooey sentiment. It's love and joy and excitement for you & your family. You go Wonderwoman!!!!
I love you. Auntie Ina
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. You have grown and so have we. Thank you for the gift of insight and honesty and courage and YOU. It has been my privilege to get to hear your thoughts and learn from your experiences. I am so happy you had lunch without your hat--what an amazing way to start the rest of your cancer-free life! Peace, love and health to you.
Thank you for asking me to be with you on your last chemo day - the time flew by - the time stood still. I treasured every second - especially our sweet buddha blessed lunch together.
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