Jessica

Jessica came down from Redding to help us out during treatment #9 (that's 75% complete, by the way!) She was incredible! She held our family together with cooking, laundry, shopping and clean-up. But the most amazing task Jess tackled was caring for the kids. She played, broke up fights, waited on them hand and foot, and just loved them to pieces. She left her own two children and husband to spend 4 days with us, which was precious beyond measure.

Bodega

We got out of Davis last weekend. Neil and Evangeline are living in Bodega Bay for a while, so we crashed at their place and had fun exploring... finding treasures in the tide pools, eating fresh crab for dinner, climbing on rocks, hoping to catch a glimpse of the migrating whales (all we saw were some sleek seals.) Caroline and Mike were able to join us for a night, which was a treat. We got to see pictures from their honeymoon to New Zealand and Australia. ~sigh~ Made us want to travel!

Twilight

Yes, my book club read Twilight. I don't even want to admit how many of us got hooked into readig the whole series, seeing the movie, and dressing like want-to-be-vampires to our gathering. We had finger food, blood red wine, and a devil's food cake with Bella hearts Edward on top. Isn't that crazy? For three short hours we were all 17 again.

I Need a Nap

Okay, so I volunteered in Zoe's Kindergarten class today for one hour. I thought, this'll be fun. How hard can Kinder be? I mean, I've been teaching 5th/6th grade for 13 years now.....Holy Frijoles! I had no idea how rambunctious they are! I had 4 groups circulate through my math center. One kid hid under the table and wouldn't come out until I threatened him with a time out. Another kid stuck his tongue out at me and said he didn't have to listen to me. I told him I knew his mother and that I'd call her to tell her about his behavior if he didn't behave. Another kid kept cheating at the math game and was loud and unruly. I reminded him that I work with his mom and that I would let her know how he was doing if he didn't shape up. Another kid lost the math game with his partner and started bawling like a banshee. OMG! What the farnum is up with these boys? After the hour was over I decided that I love 5th/6th graders, and that Zoe will be locked up when she's of dating age. Oh, and I'm going to be very, very, very nice to Zoe's teacher from now on.
One little girl asked me, "Why are you wearing a hat inside?" I said, "Because I'm bald." She didn't know what that meant and when I told her, her eyes got HUGE. She was so cute. She asked me what color my hair was the last time I had it.
And I'm doing this every other week until June!

Kim was such a big help last week! I was useless, while she ran around keeping the kids busy and happy. They (we) loved having her. After she left on Saturday, I had somewhat of an emotional meltdown. As I lay on the bed crying, Kai came up to me and stroked my hand saying, "It'll be alright, mom." Then Zoe climbed into bed with me and rubbed my back. They pulled me out of it and we played in the yard and created at the art table all day. Natalie and Elizabeth came over to rescue me in the evening, toting flowers, nail polish, a movie for the kids, tamales and beer. Good friends.

Joseph finally came home late last night and all is right in my world. EXCEPT that #1: his travel logs included a late night disco with professional Moroccan dancers, and #2: his bags are lost, which contain the presents that would make up for #1!

My Real Statistics!

So, during my middle-of-the-night worries, I emailed Tuscano and asked him some questions about my new situation. writing the email made me feel instantly calmer, hoping to receive some soothing words back from him. How many times do you think I checked email today? Take that number and triple it. Kim is at the movies with the kids and I was enjoying the quiet twilight when....Tuscano called! He wanted to make sure I was okay emotionally and he gave me his cell number in case I had any questions while Joseph is away (isn't that nice?!) He referred to the study I read and explained that some of the things they don't tell you are the ages of the patients who died from bleo toxicity....they weren't just over 40, they were "well over 40". He also explained that they had acute forms of the toxicity, whereas he described mine as "relatively mild". He is still putting my overall survival rate at 90%. Okay, so it dropped 5% since my PET scan, but I'll take it over the 65% the publication sited. I know I need to let go of these silly statistics and just live my life. No number can dicatate my outcome. I'm the one who's going to do that. So, no more cancer abstract reading for me! I'm through! These big girl panties are working...